I am sure the question arises from time to time to everyone: Where do you see yourself in 10 years? What career are you aiming for? And all that jazz.
To tell you the truth, I haven't gotten the slightest clue and you know what, that's okay with me. I am in no way a psychic able to see even two seconds into the future, so why should I expect anything within the next 10 years? To be honest, I could die tomorrow. I could get into a car wreck and end up dying at the hospital. The future is a mystery. I don't plan that far in advance. I am a go-with-the-flow person who lives in the moment and in those moments, I can take what I have gained, what I have learned and expand on it, evolve from it. That is how I think. Is that so wrong?
I have seen friends aim for their goals as quick as they can, hoping to gain the best possible ending to the ultimate game of life. I have also seen friends face many unpredictable situations that change their life for the better or for the worst. Through the bad, they probably wouldn't have wished such a future on anyone during the moment it happened to them, but when it did happened and despite the troubles along the way, they push forward to get passed it and overcome it. I have seen people achieve great feats simply by determination alone. But not me.
I have always looked towards improving myself, evolving, expanding my mind, becoming more well-rounded and enlightened regardless of how or what that may accomplish. To me, individuality and evolving have been two of the most important things in my life. I have faced so many disappointments in my life: friends dessert me, friends betray me, friends hurt me, friends who leave me in the dust and ignore me, friends bail on me, and even people I had hoped to gain relationships with but never see it through. I have faced disappointments left and right and at the end of the day I simply hope to make a better tomorrow. If it gets me down to some degree, I take it more as a learning experience than a means to get even or get angry. I consider it as just life being what it is, life.
The more I grow older, the more I worry less about future destinations and focus more on the journey. I honestly could care less about gaining an animation job at this point. Mostly because I feel at this stage in my artistic career, I lack many fundamentals in what it takes to be a professional at it. I do GIFs here and there, try to do Flash animations, always drawing characters, people, and scenes that set the stage, but through my academic career, I lack much in what it takes to be a professional at it. So when I graduate I am not going to focus on where I am going and where I will end up but what I can do to evolve and become better than I am now. Progress is another aspect I take great pride in. To progress means that I am limitless. I can do anything I set my mind to it but patience is key. Great morals to live by that we have all heard before since we were little. I am literally following it.
When I graduate I plan to get a full time job, move out, pay my parents back the excessive fees from college from taking too many courses, but hey! What can I say? I love to learn and I love to expand my mind and explore new things. Taking classes like Sociology, Philosophy, Archery, Creative Writing, Astronomy, Watercolor, Comm Design and other courses that were random and possibly unnecessary to take or add into the pot were all learning experiences that I have grown from. I have used what I have learned from those courses as additional backgrounds to add to my character and grow from. And I am proud of that. I took on classes I wanted to take because I loved the topics, loved to learn, to relieve any ignorances I had involving them, and I even to at one point hoped to take an Oceanography course. All of it sounded fun! But the education system under the law is flawed and ridiculous and limits the number of courses you can take in order to achieve a degree and art degrees have more on their plate than any other degree. Not fair, right?
So, even when I am out of college and don't plan on going to grad school, I am going to self-teach myself much more than I know now. This can range from the secrets of art and comic making, animating, a broader mindset on the art of Sociology, Astronomy, Philosophy, Psychology, and different languages that peak my interests. I want to self-teach myself Japanese and Spanish, dabble into other languages as well. I want to write more and create books and articles. I want to learn and I want to grow. Evolving is the best thing I can do as an individual and my species has slowed down the process to make it happen. We should be evolving as fast as fish have but as a young race, we lack that ability to accomplish such feats instantaneously. So while I can't hand sign "live long and prosper", grow wisdom teeth, and can't adapt to temperature normally like other people do unless I have showered at least once a day, I can at least try to expand my mind and open my heart. Accept people in my life who want to be there and make the most of my time on this earth. I will rot in the ground or burn one day but until then, I look forward to what it has to offer. Good, bad, or ugly I will move forward.
That is my career. That is my goal. I don't care if some people think it is mediocre to live that way, to accept that life is what it is and that I am limiting myself by not striving to do my best but to be honest, I don't care. I don't need to strive to be the best or out-do those around me. I may be competitive but not to the point where it controls my life. I don't take kindly to being told what to do or how to think. I have always done artwork because it makes me happy, because I enjoy doing it, and it is because I love it so much I have never aimed at really making a living off of it. When people hear that, they wonder why I even want to make it a job. *shrugs* I just wanted to continue working with the medium and get into the game, making money off of it was just a bonus. I don't like to sell-out by just giving in to what society wants of me so I rebel and resist as much as possible. If people want me to draw porn because they know sex sells and it is the easy way to get likes and praise despite how little they hope to improve or how it looks aesthetically, then that is their problem, not mine. I am not into that sort of thing. I don't try to focus on such trivial things.
This was just a little rant to get off of my chest. I am not trying to clarify to anyone in particular on what my dreams are. I just felt like spilling my guts a little.
Now off to bed for an a long day tomorrow! :3
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